Tuesday, 26 August 2014

BEAUTIFUL WITHIN AND WITHOUT

 
Hello Mi Queridas...  Even though it’s days after my birthday, I'm still feeling fly and still basking in the euphoria of the celebrations..... Abeg let me chop the life of my head (for the non-Yoruba’s I am too sure you think my last statement is a blunder that should never ever be said...well it actually is a direct translation to the Yoruba phrase 'Moo n je aye ori mi'. Though the correct “literal” meaning is I'm just enjoying all I can ...I did a direct translation as per how it sounds...phew! Capice??.LOL.
 So today, I want to talk about a topic I am very sure every normal person has struggled with. I looked at my cousin yesterday...She's just 17 and I noticed she was really cautious in: picking her dress, her looks, her tummy and every little detail about her. As she frisked herself for blemishes and blunders, all I did was smile (and SMH’d for her). 
As a teenager, I struggled with feeling insecure about my body. It was either I hadn't started growing boobs and then it was my boobs were too big for my size, then I remember feeling not sooo beautiful because I had terrible things called PIMPLES and BLACKHEADS, I felt I had a flat ass which I still do by the way, big tummy and perhaps fat legs....*covers face*. See how I am casting myself *hands on head*
People call it 'low self esteem' but I think I had a problem. I wasn't the always shy type but once anyone mentioned anything that was wrong with me physically, I just retreat into a shell and start worrying over nothing. I used to like this boy in secondary school. His name is Lewis Avarobe. Mehn I liked this boy ehn...( I'll give you his gist someday). He liked me too and in my head I was always wondering 'why the f#@k does this dude like me'. I had inferiority complex at some point and kept on thinking I probably wasn’t good enough for him or anyone else for that matter. I had lots of these issues when I was growing up o, at one point, It felt like it was just me being too critical about myself or maybe I just wasn’t good looking but I've come to realise that 70 percent of humans go through these things but on like many other similar victims, I didn't have the right people to talk to about my issues. My sisters had problems of their own, my mum was always too busy and my father was absent so it was just me taking care of me. But then I survived.
A good example of someone going through similar stuff while growing up is Le boo, I remember he told me he was always teased and verbally assaulted by his mates  because of his dark complexion during his secondary school days... They used to call him one funny name I'm sure he would physically, spiritually and even emotionally kill me if I mentioned.... By the way he is still black *runs off before he sees me*. So he made up his mind that when he gets to Uni no one would take advantage of him. He ended being the most popular kid in Uni and was quite sought after by babes *that part he made sure I heard and stuck to my memory.... and if he ever gets to tell you this story, he would tell you that he was really sought after... **this boy would kill me today*. And yes from being bullied he became the bully...*rolls eyes*...(not good bro..no good at all).
My point is these things will come and go. As a child, a teenager or an adult (yes so many adults still have low self esteem), it’s okay for you to feel below par but you should never let it affect who you are and should not let it determine who you are gonna be.  Within the past years I have overcome these fears merely by learning to love myself in the huge way as I love those around me. That's all you need. Build healthy relationships and be around people that love and appreciate you. Don't be around friends that would do anything to run you down. Some friends thrive on bringing others down just to hide their own faults and shortcomings. You are beautiful...don't ever tell yourself otherwise.
I stay healthy and well fed (*raises eyebrow* I’m watching my weight…durhhhh) thereby maintaining a peaceful mind. It doesn’t matter whether you are fat, skinny or chubby... In my opinion, it boils down to how comfortable we are with our bodies, how psychologically stable we are and most importantly how well we carry ourselves. These speak volume into our character and personality. Gbam!
So what will I tell anyone that wants to hear the truth?  Live your life... ‘Dem say dem say’, ‘won so ipe’ (they said) , na dem sabi.....Let people talk that’s why they have mouths..... They would get tired eventually. I've been a victim of 'this person said and that person said' and I've been able to surpass all by Gods grace. I almost died from rumour mongers but I learnt that people who talk about you are just too blind to see where you are going...and back biters are always ‘at the BACK’.... So just live your life, be happy, stay healthy and be comfortable in your body. That's all....I rest my case.
 
*COURT*!!!!.....Arise.
Cheers *giggles*

21 comments :

  1. I never knew how good it felt to have my own opinion and know that it's okay if others don't share same with me.........I feel a lot better about myself and grateful for that level of growth in my life......I think we should have a campaign for teenagers and help see and love their flaws??? what do you think Moby???

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    1. Ugo I am in mehn...I don't know how to go about it but I've given it serious thought. How do we start? I could talk to a few people to join or what do you think? You can send me a mail bolaji.amusu@yahoo.com. Thanks.

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  2. did a similar post, it takes strenght to rise against flaws and short comings but we need to just grow and believe in ourselves.x

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    1. First time commenter *yaaaaaay*. You are welcome Desola. Please can I visit your blog *bats lashes*. Just drop your blog address and I will follow you like follow follow *that didn't make sense I know*.

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  4. I totally agree with Ugo. If we don't know it is a problem and the teenagers of today are the future of tomorrow. I wish I was in the country.I would totally love to be a part of this.beauty is from within.even when you try to be like someone else,you just end up living in the shadows of another person.just be yourself,be comfortable and do you.

    **Muna

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    1. Hmnnnn.. Be comfortable and do you *GBAM*. Words to live by. Thanks Muna

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  5. It's good to love oneself. I too have stopped bothering about my flaws but to be always happy.

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  6. Amazing blog..... keep it real. Check mine out

    www.vicshowplanet.blogspot.com

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    1. You are welcome huni....I'm off to your blog *runs off*

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  7. I have flaws! God knows everyone does and I won't move around with people who point them out to me. Its really pathetic to finally realize that after so much time our youngsters still fall for the lies the society feeds them! A guy called me Fat one time like that told me I would never be good enough, *chai* did I feel bad? Yes I did, but his words don't define me, opinions are dynamic in nature doesn't make it true, we should learn to use each hateful,criticizing,hurtful word bullet encrusted word people throw at us and use them as weapons to shield ourselves!
    I love my chubby self! I love being me. Everyone should learn to do same.

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    1. Babe next time if anyone tells u such castigating words, look at the person from head to toe, remember the person's f**k ups and u will know that u are one hell of a beauty queen with a lot of worth. Even if ur around people that talk down at u so? Mtcheeeww! If its ur boy friend or husband don't take it likely but what if its ur sister, anty, flat mate, room mate boss, lecturer and u have to see them everyday and continously? Ur confident battery should always be charged to 100 percent.
      How to do so; look at urself in the mirror and praise urself. Say good things about urself. It doesn't matter what ur boss, lecturer, anty or anybody will say. The man u see in the mirror is u. So what do u see in the mirror?

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    2. WHAT??? That guy's tongue should be cut off. Well Muriel has taken the words out of my mouth. You are beautiful Eden...chubby or no chubby. And I'm not saying this to make you feel better buh mami, you are one hell of a beauty and a guy would be lucky to have you. Just keep being yourself...

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  8. You are beautiful no matter what they say like Christina Aguilera would say. Almost everyone has had self esteem issues. Growing up I wished I were dark, and I would always tan my skin. I'm still learning to love my skin though

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  9. to a certain extent i think everyone has dealth with low self esteem at some point, i remember when i didnt like my legs ( in my head they were just to thick) and i avoided wearing skirts. i just got to a point where i was like thick or not it better than no legs lol i gotta embrace and love it for it functionality.

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  10. You have only one life to live so why worry about another person's opinion? I don't have time for that.

    Http://journalofapetitediva.blogspot.com

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  11. My sweetest Moby, I don't mean to brag but I feel I am the best of me. I am too confindent for my liking.

    Its when I was in secondary school I had the issue. I started getting boobs around 10 to 11yrs while my classmates were flat chested. I wanted 2 kill myself. My mum bought my first bra when I was 11 as my birthday gift. I refused to wear it oo. My sister's nany that time encouraged me to wear it sha so my breast go southwards (flat boobs). Immediate she said so I started wearing it to sleep sef. hehehehehe!!

    When I was 12 years my hip became very wide. I had hips. At 13 my class mate told me I look like mama bayelsa and all those yoruba mama put people. I felt bad. I saw this friend of mine that was castigating me 4 my shape, she has ike slippers (flat ass no hip lion shape). I am enjoying my shape today to the extend that I need to watch what I were so I wouldn't promote lost.

    Also I was told I had yam leg and work like a man when I was 15. All the men that have been attracted to me love my walk cus I learnt how to catwalk. When I mean cat walk serious stepping and skirts and leggings fit me more cus my legs I beautiful. Today among my classmates I can say I am one of the beautiful ones that's how confident I am. I am so freaking confident. There casting even made me better.

    Did I talk about my nose? They told me I had a big manish nose. But now I dey sample my pointed nose 4 all the haters to see. I don't need to contour my nose for my pointies to be out *winks.
    My slang now; if e dey pepper u go and die (in oshiomole's voice)

    That's the end of my story.

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    1. Wow...from everything I've seen now, I can categorically say that we ll go through esteem issues at some point. Hmnnn... Muriel I'm so proud of you. My new slang now is....if the tin dey pepper you, go and jump in the river *modified version*. Thanks

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  12. Moby, for ur info ur very beautiful. Ur beautiful in ur own way. Ur the best of ur kind. If they don't like u like this let them hug transformer. I've applied an agressive approach to confident crushers..... hehehehehe!!

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  13. Ok singing crooked smile here. This things come in sometimes but I always try to live right. Moby I will like to join the campaign too we can start from blogs too.
    www.tosyne101.wordpress.com

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  14. Well said, nobody is perfect.
    The moment we decide to ignore our flaws and just be happy with life, life had be much better for us.
    Love yourself

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Your comments are like jollof rice to my stomach... the more you leave a comment, the happier I get. Thanks for stopping by...I love you like kilode *mwwaahhh*