Helloooo Mobylizers... Its another day of the week where we get to help another fellow that has issues and need help. I think my alter ego looks and behaves like Oprah or Trisha...just saying o. I think someday, maybe someday I might just have a talk show and guess who would be my co-host? Guess no more....it would either be Yours truly (Obi) or Tibs or Tosin or Eden or Aby or Duru or .........if I continue ehn,the 'or' won't end...or maybe you. Yes you...you and Moby might just have a talk show *winks*.
So I got loads of pings on my bbm and one mail concerning our yesterday's post 'beautiful within and without'. It was just another random thought I put down and someone was touched. I'm proud of me. Y'all should give me a pat on the back...oya pat my back NOW *turns my back to you*. Thank you. So let's get right to it. This is a very fragile post so please let's treat it fragile-ly..... The way I just put down a word randomly ehn, God help our next generation with my english.
Good evening. Your post today inspired this letter as it felt like you were talking directly to me. I have a teenage son and I don't know if what he has is low self esteem or inferiority complex but he kind of acts like a girl. I don't know how I'll handle it if my son is gay but if he is, I guess I'll have to accept him like that but how do I tell him to be himself and tell him he's beautifully made as a man and not make it sound awkward?
It is a hard thing for a mother and a Christian to bear. I know as a Christian homosexuality is a taboo but I am his mother, I am meant to have my sons back every time. I am practically in tears now as I type. I watch my son walk like a girl, sneak into my room to play with my make-up items, prefer the company of girls, sit on the toilet to pee and just generally behave very girlish. He practically imitates his elder sister.
Moby, my boy is just 11 years old, his sister is 13 and you won’t believe he sits on the toilet to pee. I know and hope it’s still too early to conclude that he might be gay but I am very scared. My husband died when he was barely three. God rest his soul. So I don’t really know how to go about this issue. I don’t want my son to turn out gay, Moby he can’t. I’m praying he isn’t it’s against my religion and it would bring me shame.
Please help me; just tell me anything I can do. I need to stop it now if at all it’s there. I pray every day but I know I have to take practical actions. I secretly read your blog and I saw how you and other readers addressed the case of that boy that wanted to go into music so I just thought to share this here.
Thank you very much; I like what you are doing. God will bless and lift you up. Amen .
MOBY SPEAKS: Hmmmmn.....this is one serious issue. First of all, accept my condolences as regards your husband. May God grant you the fortitude to bear the loss.
Homosexuality has become a major virus that has found its place in Nigeria (via whatever means....mostly media *rolls eyes*) and is fast eating into the lives of many. In fact, we now have groups, clubs and societies that promote this un-Godly act even in the open. God have mercy on us.
Your son would not turn out gay in Jesus Christ's name. However, like you have said, you have to back your faith with works. It’s enough to pray and have faith but you have to take strategic steps into ensuring your child doesn’t take the wrong path. I would give steps you can take to make sure your child’s sexual orientation remains intact. Please other mothers and intending mothers can take cue from the steps and if anyone has any addition, please do (i no fit sabi everything na...LOL).
Ok let’s do this:
1. Recognise that homosexuality is a spirit and a bad habit that is imbibed as a result of neglect of its early traits (so you are lucky you’ve noticed now)...Hence for other mothers and fathers, ensure you always pay attention to your kids. Notice their actions and behavioural patterns and take corrective actions when and where necessary.
2. Talk to your son FREQUENTLY. Ask questions about his day, what he did, where he went and try to identify the friends he moves with in school. Also involve his teachers in school to constantly monitor his movements and apply corrective measures when necessary.
3. Be firm. Put your feet down on certain issues like he using your make up, or sitting down while peeing. You might have to employ the use of canes and whips.
4. Talk to him about why he shouldn’t be like a girl. Give him certain masculine tasks and reward him. Have him enrolled into activities like: the boys scout, taekwondo, football, and other very masculine activities.
5. Let him constantly be around other male family members and neighbours.
6. This might sound funny, but you have to screen whatever he watches and occasionally let him catch a glimpse of movies with somewhat steamy scenes. Be careful to have this controlled and not too often so you don’t create a pervert. Also let him watch masculine action movies. This could stimulate some ‘man-ness’ in him.
7. Buy him masculine toys; guns, car, war & action figures
8. Buy him a masculine super hero costume and do a lot of role playing. Let him always kill the villain.
9. Monitor his online activities; his face book, twitter and sites he visits (he really shouldn’t be on any of these social platforms at his age) and sites he visits.
10. Tease him with one particular girl as his wife... That really helps... I hope he likes it sha but don't embarrass him with it.
Phew......! That took a lot of thinking. I decided to write exactly what I would do if I was in your shoes. I deliberately did not check any site, or google possible solutions because I wanted it to be as real as possible so everything I wrote came directly from my heart (with consultation from boo...*wink* ). I hope this helps and I pray all turns out well with you and your family. Please do all you can do to ensure you don’t lose your son to homosexuality. God would help us all.
My Mobylizers oya oooo.. What do you think? Is she just being paranoid? Let's help a grieving mother out. Thank you...