Tuesday, 30 September 2014

YOU GOT TO KNOW WHEN TO RUN

HARSH BUT TRUE
My people....My people.....My people........How una dey?....how’s the Mobylity Mobylizing ?...Mobyle or Immobyle?......I’m sure we are good. It is the last day in the month....mehn God has been wonderful... Thank God for life...for love...for blessings...for you...Thank you....

So today I'll be talking about a very crucial topic which I know a lot of us must have faced or still face at the moment. This should have been in the Dear Moby series but dem no send me work ontop dis one.... I just needed to share this with you guys....You see... I have always wanted to be a counsellor or a psychologist (...please don't shake your head for me just yet.....the amount of things I still want to be ehn, I no fit mention am finish for here...LOL). Why do I want to be a counsellor? I feel I am a good listener (even with my impatient attitude) and I can talk to people in such a way that they open up to me. Last week I was talking to a friend who is in love with this guy.... more like crushing on this guy.... Now this dude in question is a fine boy and I know that the guy won't even look at my friend twice talk less of being serious with her. Not that she's ugly oo....she's a fine girl o but he's way out of her league... 

So here she was thinking about this guy, obsessing over him and even stalking him. She just couldn't imagine not being with him so the Nigerian Oprah *points to self* was called to help solve this rather crucial case. Now I could see where she was coming from and how she felt. I dated my ex boyfriend for 2 years. At some point in the relationship, I started feeling not good enough.... I was the one doing the calling, the caring and pulling all the strings....I would call him morning, afternoon, night, mid night.....”ohlawdhavmerci”. When I'm crazy, I am very very crazy.... so I started seeing signs of un seriousness and being taken for granted by him...and I can't let one boy come and break Moby's fragile heart so I packed my load, my heart, removed my slippers, put it on my head and ran like I was being chased by a mad man. 

One thing I told her was "letting go is difficult not because you can't live without the attachment; it's difficult only because you think it is".

We find out how strong we are in the moments of the uncertainty life inevitably gives us. The unplanned events – layoffs, death, disease or divorce – can come crashing into our world at any moment. Then the questionable life changes crop up. Should I stay or should I go? Should I buy or save? Should I forgive or forget? Should I move or not? The ‘shoulds’ become a thirsty internal craving as we try to process the best outcome for our life. The problem?, In doing this, we often hold onto what no longer works  but in my friend's case, she just wanted a friend....and he just didn't see it that way.

I have another friend who is in a negative situation and is hanging on for dear life because he wants to be brave and wants to tough it out. He told me, “Giving up is not an option,” which so many of us believe. When I was going to leave my ex, someone told me to still try and work it out. Don't give up yet.....that’s what the person said. But I was suffering. I was having sleepless nights and long hurtful days... But we must know that when holding on to something that hurts our health and potential possibility to be happy, we have to look closely at why we're choosing to stay.

Life is a balance of holding on and letting go. We strive to make the right choice but how do we know when it is truly time to let go and move on?

Romantic relationships, jobs, even places we live in have an expiration date. Sometimes we hold on to things that aren’t working out of fear we won’t find something better. Perhaps our greatest fear is the unknown, which is why so many of us grasp, hold on to and manipulate our situations in trying to control our surroundings. But the outcome is always the same: more pain, immense frustration and enormous guilt and blame.

So how do you know you need to "let go" and detach yourself from that certain thing/person? Simple: It comes from self-awareness and inner-strength! Once you are aware that your habit/attachment/obsession is consuming and ruining not just you but also your thoughts,... it's making you and others around you uncomfortable or uneasy and making your life harder than it may already be. We have to trust in our inner strength and there must be willingness to let go. That's when you will start salvaging the situation and start working towards making a new beginning; possibly a new you!

So my dear friends and obsessed lover.....I've been there and I overcame. The truth is Moby crushes easily.... Most of us know that I like fine boys...it’s an addiction. I might not have anything to do with you o but I'll just be crushing on the person for a while and before you know it, the crush dies and I'm crushing on someone else. I think it’s a bad habit I really don't want to stop. I remember someone on Tib's blog telling me to go settle down because of my crushing ability.... well I'm almost there... NOTE: Le boo is a hot gentle man. You need to see that guy's arms....his body is to die for.... okayyyyy.....I'm back.... So to my dear friend that is hurting, I say let the guy know you like him (if I hear someone say that's cheap I will tie a c4 bomb on you and ignite it *tongue out*), listen to what he has to say and then move on if he's not interested. You never know until you try. To all the Mobylizers, always know when to move on... it’s not a do or die affair....You can only meet the right and best person when you move on from the one that’s in your way...*wink*

Mhen ....after all that grammar...I now have a headache....I think I’ve spoken all the English I’m supposed to speak for 5 years  in this post....*LMAO*... No more big big grammars in my subsequent posts... Una nor fit kill me...

Happy Independence Day in advance to all the Nigerian readers....if you are Nigerian by birth, by marriage or by 'i dunno', congratulations to you.

 I love you all.... kisses

Cheers....


17 comments :

  1. Awww....mehn....I was reading this and I was just feeling so bad for the parties involved....mehnnn....that point is sometimes a T junction......knowing when to move on and let go takes alot of guts...**sigh**

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  2. letting go can be really hard.......but when you set your mind in doing what you want.....*in moby's voice*......run like a mad man........lol.

    www.momentwithzoe.com

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  3. Moby....moby....moby...how many of you waka come? You are just too funny really.I totally see your point but then if you tell a guy you like them, he might start taking you for granted and start string you along . I've been there once.I liked this guy that stays on my street and I sent my bestfriend to tell him.i didn't tell her to tell him directly but I told her.I noticed he change towards me after I told him.so I think it is adviceable to just keep to yourself when you like a person

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  4. Moby Moby! See all the grammar here... I had to hold dictionary strong as I read this... Letting go/ Moving on is one of the hardest things to do and it comes when one of the parties thinks they can't do better than their current partner....

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  5. *jumping and screaming* Yay! Hello moby so happy you are back... Well I have this strong believe that 'what is yours is yours and it can't be taken away from youn what goes up will surly come down' like in tibs current post I strongly believe that God knows has a purpose for what she is going through, He knows what is best for her life and He has everytin under control, I don't want to sound spiritual but well I can't help it... My advice to her and all other ladies me inclusive is that we need to remove the attention on ourselves and direct it to God, we need to make Him the driver of our life especially in our emotional life.. I have gone through sometin similar to her situation its was just so bad dat I couldn't sleep I was obsessed with this guy to a fault, mehn it wasn't easy but I learnt to move with God's plan for my life and use my single life to create a great relationship with Him that would make me prepared for that man who is meant to be mine and I also I had to focus my energy on things that would make me happy cos I just knew he wasn't meant to be so what's the need, and ever since I have never looked back. Wow that was long I would really love to go on and on but in a nut shell she needs to let God lead while she relax... JUDITH

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    1. *jumping and screaming too* thanks huni....your message was amazing. GOD bless you big for me. Thank you

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  6. *jumping and screaming* Yay! Hello moby so happy you are back... Well I have this strong believe that 'what is yours is yours and it can't be taken away from youn what goes up will surly come down' like in tibs current post I strongly believe that God knows has a purpose for what she is going through, He knows what is best for her life and He has everytin under control, I don't want to sound spiritual but well I can't help it... My advice to her and all other ladies me inclusive is that we need to remove the attention on ourselves and direct it to God, we need to make Him the driver of our life especially in our emotional life.. I have gone through sometin similar to her situation its was just so bad dat I couldn't sleep I was obsessed with this guy to a fault, mehn it wasn't easy but I learnt to move with God's plan for my life and use my single life to create a great relationship with Him that would make me prepared for that man who is meant to be mine and I also I had to focus my energy on things that would make me happy cos I just knew he wasn't meant to be so what's the need, and ever since I have never looked back. Wow that was long I would really love to go on and on but in a nut shell she needs to let God lead while she relax... JUDITH

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  7. I agree that sometimes you have to let go but it is really hard. I called it quits with my last ex yet i was still calling and sending messages after, it was when he said some things that were hurtful that i gave myself brain and remembered why i called it quits with him. Then i forced myself to completely cut him off. It was very hard but i did it. I can't be made to feel like i am worthless.

    http://journalofapetitediva.blogspot.com

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  8. I just broke up with my boyfriend last month and it has been hard.It has been very hard to move on.You see I thought it was going to be forever.I didn't even have a backup plan so you can imagine how devastated I was when he said he just changed and i broke up with him.I just google how to move on and I saw this link and it has been really helpful.I know I will survive it.
    You have an amazing blog here.Just keep it up and your humour is what makes you so exceptional.

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    1. Wow....hi Toun... please can you send me an email or your number some how? Need to talk to you... I'm sure you'll be fine. Just know its his loss...not yours. I'm waiting for your mail.
      Thanks for the compliment. I'm blushing like crazy here...thanks huni

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  9. Letting go/ Moving on is one of the hardest things to do and it comes when one of the parties thinks they can't do better than their current partner....
    http://www.ririzmusings.blogspot.com

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  10. Hmmmm Bolaji o what is going on.This your love love talk is getting plenty.

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  11. Letting go is not easy, but your article will help anyone. Good job!

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  12. Oh Lord I can totally relate to this post lol where shall I begin, I remember breaking up with my ex and I almost went to the the ER, because I couldn't breathe he he he I almost went crazy, and another one I was talking too was a professional time waster but I convinced myself be self he was the one because he had all the physical requirements I always wanted but I had to let go and man it was hard I remember every night I would start at his pictures and somehow convince myself that why I had a good night sleep (na so madness they fit enter body o small small like that) and when I decided to let go it was so painful but I survived sha

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  13. Eh! so you like fine bobo sha lol. Its not easy to let go but when you do you have that sense of freedom,like you just been released lol. Thats how i usually feel.Thanks Moby for all the grammer like you call am and happy independence day
    fashionitazbybuiti.blogspot.com

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  14. Hi Moby,I kno I have been away for long. School thinz. Nice post here but, ikno iv asked ds b4. Does your Boufriend or fiance read your blog?becos I don't know how he reads some of the things you write and still stay cool.If I dare say some of these things,my oga would vex like a mad dog bit him. I really want to kno how he handles it like me saying I still crush on other guys or I like fine boys? Mhen it would be like I killed sm1.He won't be able to breathe well sef. He needs to be friends with leboo.I really don't kno hw leboo is cool with ds, maybe you shld be sure he's not upset inside oo cos he appears too amazing to be true.pls bring him on here we want to see him. Me especially.

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