Aaaah Shoki...Shoki....aah shoki shoki *dancing you know what* *wink*
Who has heard the remix of shoki by Chidinma, Cynthia Morgan and Eva? My love for shoki just gets deeper and deeper everyday mehn.I have become a Shokilizer LOL.. If you've not heard it, go and download ASAP. That's all I have to say to you.
Hello my people... so how many thought I took a leave again because I didn't post anything yesterday? *sees a few hands*...see them LOL it's aiight though...I am not going anywhere yet. My network was down yesterday and so I couldn't do anything...I'm sorry.
Yes I noticed something ooo..*ties wrapper*.. Every one that sent me a mail(s) recently or for the past 2 weeks....I didn't get the mails ooooo...., I've not been getting mails on my gmail account and I don't know why...I don't understand anymore... If you don't want me to have hypertension, please resend the emails to firstname.lastname@example.org. Please oo na beg I dey beg o I no dey proud..LOL...Especially Esther and Icelaw... Pleaseeeee resend the mail. Thank you very much.
So this is a late rant post.... I got it from my beautiful friend, Esther. *whispering* ..If you think Moby is sick, this girl is sicker..like very ‘un-well'... she is sickness personified. If you think I'm lying, abeg check out her blog at www.thewayestherseesit.blogspot.com and then come back to testify. I laughed so hard reading this post and so I asked if I could share with my Mobylizers and she agreed. I can totally relate to this rant...as in I've been there...Just continue reading and share in our ranters rant...LOL...
Hi my lovelies, I'm here to rant about my worst bus experience ever.... so rant with me if you've ever experienced this....
On Friday, I took a bus from Ikeja to Mile 2. Only God knows how I take waka enter that kind of bus o, but the weird weird things I experienced ehn, just sit tight and be angry with me.
The man that sat next to me was very very very (that's 3 veries shey?) FAT...and he smelled... like really smelled. His mouth was oozing, I could see the wax in his ears, he had no neck, he smelt of sweat and something pungent...I couldn't quite place, and I think I could smell his butt crack...*covers face*
Well, to top the injustice he was doing to my olfactory nerves, he was very clumsy and refused to keep his hands in one place... which was inconveniencing me seriously, I felt like I was going to choke to death with the entire stench coming out of him...
To top it all, for some weird reasons, his crotch started to scratch him... Lawd! Gawd!! At first, he scratched it through his trousers and when it didn't work, he decided to dip his hands in to his pants to scratch. He had this "I'm about to cum" face.... eeeeeewwwwwwww..... Then worst of all, as he was about to alight, he decided that my legs looked like wood and he just stepped on my feet, and then cut my favourite slippers, (this slippers is my bathroom, wakabout, and anything u can call it, slippers.).
Next annoying ordeal; please ladies spend your money on good panties... na beg I dey beg una o. The lady who sat in front of me had these low waist jeans on and her panties were out. These panties were not only ‘fugly', they were tearing and shredding (Abeg they still dey produce tissue pants?) Her wide and long stretch marks were seeking attention and were all out for the world to see. I swear I had to mentally chain and restrain myself from dipping my pen into her ass...*raise eyebrow*
The last but not the least thing that happened that almost left me in tears; there were these nursing mothers behind me. One's baby was sleeping peacefully while the other's was fussy and crying her head out. Normal thing na, everybody was shouting, "E fun looyan na" (Give am breast na), immediately she pulled out her flabby breasts and shoved them in the child's mouth. Like this
See ehn, the child was still wailing o even with the breasts in her mouth... I don't blame the child o, why will my mother's breasts be that ugly na.? Now I'm not against public breastfeeding o, but there's no way you'll catch me doing it. Any pikin wey cry for outside, I go mix akanmu or cerelac give am drink....shikenna.
This is the proper way to breastfeed.... no go dey reduce money wey your husband pay for your head..
The painful part was when one elderly woman claimed the woman wasn't doing the breastfeeding properly and just took hold of the mother's breasts and held it "properly" in the child's mouth. See ehn, that thing is all shades of wrong!!!! If we're not related, do not touch my breasts, else I'll sue you for attempted lesbianism.
With all these, the child was wailing her head off... their brains didn't tell them that it was probably the heat that was making the child cry. 10mins later, the child was crying again and my head was aching like cray, then one man said, "Boya oo tii yaa'gbe' (she's probably uncomfortable cos she's soiled herself). Immediately I started to pray to God that the woman would ignore that 'wonderful" suggestion. But no! She just pulled the pampers open and exposed the poor child's private parts to the world. Worse of all was when she told her friend, Kafaya, "joo baami check e, booya oo tii yaagbe tooto (Help me check if she has really soiled herself).
For God's sakes, y'all know how bad babies' poo stink shey? Well, the bus was stinking so bad of the child's poo, yet she was stupidly asking if the child had really pooed.
*sighs* This was my ordeal on Friday o. So I'm begging all you good readers of THE WAY ESTHER SEES IT to join my foundation- LET'S BUY ESTHER A CAR. I'm tired of this kinda life. If the car is too much, just help me write petitions to bus drivers to screen their passengers, and stop letting smelly people into their buses.
If you did not laugh reading this rant then I think your matter don pass be careful..or your problems senior any kind of joke..LOL.. Esther it is well... Leboo always say that nursing mothers always forget that their boobs is still a boob whether or not you are breast feeding so why would you see guys around and still bring it out. Its not fair... Dassal I have to say ooo...LOL
To everyone that has sent me rants so far, don't worry. Just keep checking this space every Thursday for your rants....I would definitely put them up..*thumbs up*
Is something bothering you? and you just want to scream and shout? Pick up your phone, press the keypads so hard and send me your rants to this email address email@example.com and I'm sure my mobylizers would be here to help get angry with and for you..LoL
Remember God loves you and Moby loves you too.
Mobylizers what do you think about this ranter's rage? Let's share...