Friday, 28 November 2014

RANT - SEASON 15 BY ESTHER

 
Aaaah Shoki...Shoki....aah shoki shoki *dancing you know what* *wink*

Who has heard the remix of shoki by Chidinma, Cynthia Morgan and Eva? My love for shoki just gets deeper and deeper everyday mehn.I have become a Shokilizer LOL.. If you've not heard it, go and download ASAP. That's all I have to say to you.


Hello my people... so how many thought I took a leave again because I didn't post anything yesterday? *sees a few hands*...see them LOL  it's aiight though...I am not going anywhere yet. My network was down yesterday and so I couldn't do anything...I'm sorry.

Yes I noticed something ooo..*ties wrapper*.. Every one that sent me a mail(s) recently or for the past 2 weeks....I didn't get the mails ooooo...., I've not been getting mails on my gmail account and I don't know why...I don't understand anymore... If you don't want me to have hypertension, please resend the emails to bolaji.amusu@yahoo.com. Please oo na beg I dey beg o I no dey proud..LOL...Especially Esther and Icelaw... Pleaseeeee resend the mail. Thank you very much.

So this is a late rant post.... I got it from my beautiful friend, Esther. *whispering* ..If you think Moby is sick, this girl is sicker..like very ‘un-well'... she is sickness personified. If you think I'm lying, abeg check out her blog at www.thewayestherseesit.blogspot.com and then come back to testify. I laughed so hard reading this post and so I asked if I could share with my Mobylizers and she agreed. I can totally relate to this rant...as in I've been there...Just continue reading and share in our ranters rant...LOL...

Leggo!

Hi my lovelies, I'm here to rant about my worst bus experience ever.... so rant with me if you've ever experienced this....

On Friday, I took a bus from Ikeja to Mile 2. Only God knows how I take waka enter that kind of bus o, but the weird weird things I experienced ehn, just sit tight and be angry with me.

The man that sat next to me was very very very (that's 3 veries shey?) FAT...and he smelled... like really smelled. His mouth was oozing, I could see the wax in his ears, he had no neck, he smelt of sweat and something pungent...I couldn't quite place, and I think I could smell his butt crack...*covers face*

Well, to top the injustice he was doing to my olfactory nerves, he was very clumsy and refused to keep his hands in one place... which was inconveniencing me seriously, I felt like I was going to choke to death with the entire stench coming out of him...
To top it all, for some weird reasons, his crotch started to scratch him... Lawd! Gawd!! At first, he scratched it through his trousers and when it didn't work, he decided to dip his hands in to his pants to scratch. He had this "I'm about to cum" face.... eeeeeewwwwwwww..... Then worst of all, as he was about to alight, he decided that my legs looked like wood and he just stepped on my feet, and then cut my favourite slippers, (this slippers is my bathroom, wakabout, and anything u can call it, slippers.).

Next annoying ordeal; please ladies spend your money on good panties... na beg I dey beg una o. The lady who sat in front of me had these low waist jeans on and her panties were out. These panties were not only ‘fugly', they were tearing and shredding (Abeg they still dey produce tissue pants?) Her wide and long stretch marks were seeking attention and were all out for the world to see. I swear I had to mentally chain and restrain myself from dipping my pen into her ass...*raise eyebrow*

The last but not the least thing that happened that almost left me in tears; there were these nursing mothers behind me. One's baby was sleeping peacefully while the other's was fussy and crying her head out. Normal thing na, everybody was shouting, "E fun looyan na" (Give am breast na), immediately she pulled out her flabby breasts and shoved them in the child's mouth. Like this
See ehn, the child was still wailing o even with the breasts in her mouth... I don't blame the child o, why will my mother's breasts be that ugly na.? Now I'm not against public breastfeeding o, but there's no way you'll catch me doing it. Any pikin wey cry for outside, I go mix akanmu or cerelac give am drink....shikenna.

This is the proper way to breastfeed.... no go dey reduce money wey your husband pay for your head..

The painful part was when one elderly woman claimed the woman wasn't doing the breastfeeding properly and just took hold of the mother's breasts and held it "properly" in the child's mouth. See ehn, that thing is all shades of wrong!!!! If we're not related, do not touch my breasts, else I'll sue you for attempted lesbianism.

With all these, the child was wailing her head off... their brains didn't tell them that it was probably the heat that was making the child cry. 10mins later, the child was crying again and my head was aching like cray, then one man said, "Boya oo tii yaa'gbe' (she's probably uncomfortable cos she's soiled herself). Immediately I started to pray to God that the woman would ignore that 'wonderful" suggestion. But no! She just pulled the pampers open and exposed the poor child's private parts to the world. Worse of all was when she told her friend, Kafaya, "joo baami check e, booya oo tii yaagbe tooto (Help me check if she has really soiled herself).

For God's sakes, y'all know how bad babies' poo stink shey? Well, the bus was stinking so bad of the child's poo, yet she was stupidly asking if the child had really pooed.

*sighs* This was my ordeal on Friday o. So I'm begging all you good readers of THE WAY ESTHER SEES IT to join my foundation- LET'S BUY ESTHER A CAR. I'm tired of this kinda life. If the car is too much, just help me write petitions to bus drivers to screen their passengers, and stop letting smelly people into their buses.


MOBY SPEAKS

If you did not laugh reading this rant then I think your matter don pass be careful..or your problems senior any kind of joke..LOL..  Esther it is well... Leboo always say that nursing mothers always forget that their boobs is still a boob whether or not you are breast feeding so why would you see guys around and still bring it out. Its not fair... Dassal I have to say ooo...LOL

To everyone that has sent me rants so far, don't worry. Just keep checking this space every Thursday for your rants....I would definitely put them up..*thumbs up*

Is something bothering you? and you just want to scream and shout? Pick up your phone, press the keypads so hard and send me your rants to this email address bolaji.amusu@yahoo.com and I'm sure my mobylizers would be here to help get angry with and for you..LoL

Remember God loves you and Moby loves you too.

 Mobylizers what do you think about this ranter's rage? Let's share...

Cheers!....



12 comments :

  1. BREAKING FREE
    I grew up in a middle class community which had some few rich people. However, my nursery school was a stone throw away from my house.
    When I was a little kid, I could remember vividly how I was sellected for the end of year activity. I was like 3 or 4yrs. I didn't know how to speak my native dialet. I was told to ask my mum to translate good morning into my native dialet. Anytime my mum told me I get to school and forgot. So she had to come to school by herself to tell the teacher. I was to dance cultural dance that time and say good morning in my dialet while I sing. I could remember that day after singing I danced and people sprayed me lots of money. I got a standing ovation and lots of laughter. That's one of the best memories of my mum. She was so proud of me that she took me to a studio for a photo shoot.
    One thing I know is that my mum loves me and has the best interest at heart but she does it the wrong way. Birds will one day fly away from their nest after weeks or months of being hatched by their mother. So are humans. Opinions and choices are our wings.
    When I got into secondary school I felt so insecure about my looks. I added lots of weight. Couple on the fact that I had an operation so I was given some kind of medication I don't really know about. So I added lots of weight even though I was a boarder. Anytime I came back home I got disparaging remarkes from my mum like the reason why I am fat is because I stay at home to eat all the food. It wasn't so. Too much cabin, corn flakes, golden morn, chocolate, milk as my provision is school was the cause. She made comments like, "see how fat u are like an old woman finishing all the food in the house. You look like mumu ". It made me feel bad. So one time I stood my ground and told her to her face that her constant taunting made me feel really bad that she should stop. It was in the night by 8pm. The next thing she did was that she pushed me out of the house and told me I will sleep outside. One thing I learnt from being with my mum is stubborness. I am one hell of a stubborn kid. I refused to apologise to her because I saw nothing wrong in teller her not to call me names like fat, mumu, old woman, big belle and so on. If she want me to loose weight she should have cautioned me in love n told me to go for early morning jogging and eat lots of fruits. Instead she prefered destroying my self-esteem the more. It had to take the intervention of my sister's nanny to beg her to allow me come into the house. And she told me to apologise to her and I did. I never talked about the severe beatings. Like one time she was so angry she thre a big battery on my little brother's head and he started bleeding. That day I cried for my brother. Her classic beating for me was the bottom of her shoe. Everyday beating was my constant omen. Parents should learn to correct in love. Beating is overated. That will be for next time.

    Ps. Pls don't be vexed. Post my comments. I want to free myself if I can't talk to anyone.

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    1. Wow...dis is a blog post on its own.i hope youre paying Moby for publishing.You are welcome to talk to us anytime.i just want to ask,do u still stay with ur mum?

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  2. Honestly i thought i was the only one that had a problem with the way people breast feed their kids in public. It is really annoying to breast feed without covering like the two lovely ladies above. No one is saying don't breast feed in public, just cover up. And as for you shoki mama, you would tell me how shoki dey do you o.

    http://journalofapetitediva.blogspot.com

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  3. Lol...Wadup dudette! The first time, I read this on Esther's blog...the photo of the woman with the suckling baby made my nerves spike.....I mean like really?...Okay!...*rubs hands** How is this donation gonna be?...do we donate money and get back x 3 or how?...lol

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  4. This Esther girl is funny o.I can only imagine how you survivd in tat bus.omolomo pele

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  5. This Esther girl is funny o.I can only imagine how you survivd in tat bus.omolomo pele

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  6. Lol, quite funny tho.... Sha thank God she survived... Moby I was about asking if you have been kidnapped.

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  7. lol. You experience the funniest things in public transport though!

    www.cassiedaves.com

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  8. Replies
    1. I don laf piss for body . Esther is a joker.

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